deano

deano was an interesting character. he was always bright, happy and full of song (unfortunately it was generally the sydney swans theme song).
deano has been a valued & loved member of the 614 family for the 5 years we've been there, he's been part of the street community for more than 15 years although he was only 37 when he died on the cold streets of melbourne on friday night.
deano desperately wanted to change. he tried detox numerous times. he had beds in crisis facilities, he had a great relationship with his wonderful sister who would look after him when he went there but at the end of the day his friends were on the street, life on the streets was what he knew, it's where he was accepted and that's where he wanted to be.
with his friends. accepted.
who doesn't?
it was not irregular for deano to come into 614 bruised and battered. street fight?
no.
drunken middle class teenagers out in the city looking for a good time by beating up homeless people.
everyone i've spoken to about deano in the last few days has said the same thing- dean had a heart of gold. he would always give up his last dollar to someone more needy than him (although you & i would struggle to imagine anyone that needy), he always had a drink to share and could always put a smile on your face.

why did he die?
its a question that has been asked a bit in the last few days.

well he died because its cold on the streets. he died because when you have that much pain going on in your life, the amount of alcohol it takes to block out that pain will eventually kill you.
he died because there is a monumental fault in our sense of community in this country and a drastic shortage of homes, rehab beds and people willing to care for people (note 'people', not 'workers', not 'specialists' - people willing to care for people).
while an official autopsy will happen in the coming days, it's pretty clear that deano died because he was tired.

life on the streets in hard. harder than you or i could probably imagine or deal with.
the nights are cold - freezing cold - and there is no guarantee your blankets will be where you left them (or not covered in someone else's urine - apparently that's a fun thing to do for suburban teens as well). for the most part the food you eat is cheap, irregular & un healthy.
people stare at you. people laugh at you. people judge you.
your feet hurt from walking around all day. your socks stick to your feet because you have to wear your shoes 24/7 out of fear someone will steal them while you're asleep. your clothes smell and your shower times are dictated by the opening hours of drop in centres.
doctors are impossible to find if you're don't have a lot of money(especially in the City) , your health deteriorates.

friends come and go, workers leave, sympathetic police move on, business' close & open, times change.

some would say deano was misunderstood. some would say he just didn't fit in our society. both of those things might be true although dean would never consider himself misunderstood & he certainly made himself fit in any situation he found himself in.
it's been pretty clear for the last few weeks though- since the tragic death of his brother- that deano had done his time here and it was time to go home.

on friday night he did.
dean williams 10/02/71 - 11/07/08

after care

about a year ago i had jaw surgery to help align my teeth. it wasn't that invasive although it was sore and (very) bruised & swollen for around a week.
for the entire recovery i stayed at my mums and was truly spoiled. i barely left the bed and had lovely home made soup & mashed up meals all through the day (just for the record, so did rupunzel, my dog, who was also staying with me).
this love & care made the recovery quick and somewhat bearable.
last night at around 11pm we came across a guy we know who 2 weeks ago was viciously & randomly stabbed by an ice-fuelled passer-by. he is 20 years old (although only looks 16) and has been transient since a family breakdown 5 years ago left him wandering the streets.
this young man - who to a passer by looks just like any other 16 year old enjoying a school holiday break - is homeless. he has no house, no family & other than the 614 community, no supports.
he was released from hospital the day after the stabbing but had no home to go to so went back to his squat in an abandoned building on the outskirts of the City - in reality, it's all he knows. he wasn't given enough pain relief and didn't have any money so got some street drugs on credit from a friend to ease his pain in the squat after leaving hospital - his first night after the stabbing was spent vomitting into a gutter.
last night he told me that he has to go back to hospital due to complications relating to the wounds as they got infected on leaving the hospital. he peeled back a dirty bandage to show me the red, inflamed stab wound, sighed, put the bandage back on, took the blanket & pie we gave him (we also were able to re-dress the wound) and headed back into his (previously) abandoned building.
home cooked meals? no. breakfast in bed? no. a bed? no. a mothers love? no.
after care?

teary tuesday

those of you who have ever been into party drugs will well know the term 'teary tuesday'. it relates to the 'down' feeling you have on a tuesday having burnt all the 'happy chemicals' in your brain the preceding weekend.
this week i experienced a different kind of teary tuesday. in bourke street we came across a long term member of the 614 community who had been drugged up with heroin against his will by some drug pushers who stood over him for his money. he was starting to experience the agony of the heroin come down and had soiled his pants.
it was 10.30pm and there was no hope of finding him a bed and no-where for him to clean himself up. he was 'sobering up' from his drug-induced daze and coming to terms with the fact that he had a very cold & painful night ahead - we drove him to the park where he was going to sleep and gave him 2 cups of soup, a pie & some blankets. he then proceeded to pray for me and the other members of the outreach team, for our protection as we continued the rounds of street outreach... i left incredibly moved by this gesture from someone at his absolute lowest point in life.
it gave teary tuesday a whole new meaning.